


Forever after

by tdk4787



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-01-27 19:03:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21397126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tdk4787/pseuds/tdk4787
Summary: Something is always pushing Squall and Seifer towards each other.
Relationships: Seifer Almasy/Squall Leonhart
Kudos: 36





	1. Friendships

**Author's Note:**

> This fandom and this pairing are pretty special to me. Final Fantasy VIII was the first Final Fantasy I ever played. And a Squall/Seifer -fanfic was the very first fic I ever read. I don't remember what it was called but I accidentally stumbled upon it. And that's where my fanfic reading "hobby" began.
> 
> Anyway, I've been playing the remastered version of the game. And it seemed like it was time for me to write something with these characters.

” So, I was thinking that maybe we should…Are you even listening to me? Squall?” Quistis was saying to Squall. He was clearly a million miles away. This had been happening more and more recently. The two of them were in charge of Balamb Garden, and it was not an easy task. Squall especially took on way too much responsibility.

Quistis was silent for a few seconds and Squall finally came back to reality.

“I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?” he said.

Quistis sighed and suddenly she looked very tired.

“Right. Which part?”

“…All of it.”

Quistis sighed again.

“Are you sure we can handle this now?”

“…I don’t think we have a choice.” Squall himself felt tired. And frustrated. He didn’t seem to have much choice in anything in his life lately.

“What I mean is, can _you_ handle this now?” And now she looked worried.

“As I said, we don’t have much choice.” Squall said through clenched teeth. Quistis somehow managed to look even more worried.

“I think you should take a break… Xu and I can handle things here for a while.”

“I’m not going to run from my responsibilities.” Squall replied.

“You wouldn’t be running from anything.” Before he could reply to that she continued. “You seem to be slipping back to your old habits. Not speaking to people, not taking care of yourself...”

She might be right. He was no good to anyone like this.

“Fine. I guess you’re right.” Squall said.

“Good. Take at least a week to rest…Maybe even two. And do it right now. Alright?”

Squall just nodded to her and Quistis firmly guided him to the elevator.

“Don’t worry. Me and Xu will take care of the Garden. And you and I will talk when you get back.”

Squall was never very good at relaxing. And ever since he was made the commander, he hadn't let anyone else take on his duties. He had realized he liked to be in control of things. But he would try to change his habits now. For his sanity, if nothing else. He went straight to his room and fell on his bed. He could start by taking a nap.

As he was laying on his bed, he thought about Quistis and their friendship.

The two of them were basically running Balamb Garden together, with Xu being a big help. Working closely together had strengthened their friendship. They had a close bond now. Well, as close as you could have with Squall. His idea of a close friendship was very different from most people’s. Even though he’d opened up more after the world-saving events, he was still deep down inside a very aloof person. Being very sharing and intimate with people was hard for him. Or casually spending time with people. Not that he didn’t need these things, but it seemed to be much less than what other people needed and expected.

But he was thankful it was Quistis he mostly worked with. From his group of friends, she was the one he liked the most. Or got along with the most. She was a professional. Caring, but fairly no-nonsense person.

He thought about his other friends as well.

His relationship with Irvine was pretty much live and let live. They sometimes had conversations, but mostly they didn’t have much to say to each other. And Squall had to admit, it was nice that there was someone in their group of friends who wasn’t interested in him. Or didn’t want anything from him.

Squall appreciated Selphie and her skills at organizing and producing events. And keeping things together in general. If there was a need for someone with enthusiasm and new ideas, she was the person for it. But her chipperness could get tiring at times.

Zell was…Zell. He was loud and he liked Squall's company. At least, that's what Squall guessed since Zell often found his way to Squall's office. He usually started rambling on about random things. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to expect a two-sided conversation. So, Squall humored him and listened. Sometimes paying attention (and even commenting) and sometimes not. This dynamic kept Zell happy, so it was fine by Squall.

And then there was Rinoa… Their breakup had been a relief for both of them. Little things had piled up in their relationship. They had different personalities and different expectations for their relationship. With time the conflict between those differences had become too big to ignore. Ever since the breakup happened, they hadn’t been comfortable around each other. But it was definitely getting better. At this point they could have polite conversations and spend time together. If they were among friends. But the painful memories of the last months of their relationship were still too fresh.

Squall didn’t have anything against her. She was a great person and she had influenced him a lot. But they didn’t mix well in a close relationship. She had to always be around other people. Socializing, meeting new people, being an influencer. And she clearly wanted someone that would always be by her side. And Squall couldn’t do that. Trying to do it drove him up the wall. He had his own things to do and to think about. And he needed peace and quiet often. He needed to feel independent.

He also wasn’t a very touchy-feely person. He needed comfort and intimacy like anyone. But rarely, at least comparing to Rinoa. Also, the kind of intimacy he needed seemed to be different than what she needed.

Their conflicting expectations and personalities created a sad atmosphere. Rinoa was disappointed in Squall for not having interest or energy for the things she wanted. And Squall felt like he was failing her.

Also, they fought about things. Rinoa had a habit of doing things just because they came into her mind. She didn’t think about consequences much, before or after she did something. Squall suspected it had something to do with her upbringing. Her father was rich and powerful. So, she had never had to consider the consequences of her actions. She was also an attractive and charming woman. That meant that she had almost everyone wrapped around her little finger. People wanted to let her get away with everything. Except for Squall. He lost his composure sometimes. Then he ended up expressing his disapproval too bluntly. And then they fought. And Rinoa cried. And he felt like an asshole.

Their friends didn’t always approve of her actions either. But they weren’t as blunt about it. They also didn’t seem as fed up with it as Squall was.

Squall tried not to reminisce their time together any more than that. It was too distressing. Instead, he started planning his vacation. He should take the opportunity to spend time with Laguna. So, his first stop would be Esthar. But he also needed to make time to see Ellone. Looking forward to it helped him to calm down enough to fall asleep.


	2. Something has changed

Squall’s train was just coming into Esthar. He was already feeling a little rejuvenated. During the long train ride, he had been able to relax. It was nice to not have to stress about everything. He could just look out of the window at the scenery and meditate.

Arriving in Esthar made him think about Laguna. He still wasn’t comfortable calling him dad. It had been two years since they had met for the first time. But they hadn’t been able to see each other very often. It still felt odd to have a family.

Squall did want to make an effort to get to know the man. But it was often awkward, due to their personalities being very different. So, he was nervous about spending time with the man.

When he arrived in Esthar, he was taken to the Presidential Palace. Laguna came immediately to greet him.

“Squall! I’m sorry I couldn’t come to the station myself. But welcome.” Laguna pulled him into a hug, which Squall returned awkwardly. Laguna continued to make small talk, but Squall was never very good at it, so it was mostly one-sided. It didn’t seem to bother Laguna much though. He could go on talking for a long time.

Later, they were having lunch when Laguna brought up the topic that Squall wanted to avoid.

“I heard that you and Rinoa broke up. I was sorry to hear that. You two were such a lovely couple.”

That’s what almost everyone had said. ‘You were so lovely together…’, ‘She was a good catch. How could you let her get away…’ And so on. Too many people were interested in their private lives. At least his closest friends hadn’t made any remarks. Probably because they knew what the relationship had become in the end.

“Yeah…Well, that’s what happens. Relationships end.” Squall said and couldn’t keep his annoyance out of his voice. Laguna looked a bit horrified and Squall realized he had been too blunt. It was hard not to be. It was still a sore spot for him.

He continued before Laguna could say anything. “I’m sorry. I just…don't want to talk about it right now.”

“Of course. That’s understandable…What else has happened to you lately?”

Squall talked about his job. There wasn’t much else he could talk about. His job was his life at the moment. They didn’t talk for long after that. Laguna had business to attend to and Squall decided to see the sights.

* * *

Squall had been visiting all the important shops and was thinking of going back to the Palace. But then he saw a familiar man. Seifer. It was hard not to notice him. Not only was the man tall and broad he also had a strong presence. People seemed to make way for him without even thinking about it. And he walked like he owned the place, as usual. It seemed he hadn’t changed much. Except, physically he seemed a little bigger than before.

Squall was caught so off guard that he just stared at the man. That’s probably why Seifer noticed him fast as well. A smug smile formed on his face. Squall wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk to the man or not. But he didn’t have much of a choice anymore. Since Seifer noticed Squall and was walking over to him.

“Squall! They’ve actually let you go out on your own?”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“Big-time hero, Commander of the Balamb Garden. I thought you’d be too precious to be allowed to wander around without guards.” Squall thought he could detect a hint of bitterness in Seifer’s voice.

“Actually…Quistis practically threw me out.”

Seifer snorted at that. “Why? Didn’t want to deal with you anymore?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Fine. But that just makes me more curious.”

“…Whatever.”

“You haven’t changed much.”

“…I could say the same thing about you.”

They both noticed that the people around them were starting to pay attention to them. Squall wasn’t sure if people recognized Seifer’s face, but he knew that he himself was recognized. As a hero and the president’s son, he didn’t have anonymity anymore. Regardless, they both got uncomfortable with all the attention.

“Well. I have to go…I have things to do. Maybe we’ll bump into each other again.” Seifer said and walked away fast.

“Yeah.”

Squall walked back to the Palace deep in thought. Meeting Seifer had felt surreal. The last time he had been face to face with the man, they had fought. On the opposing sides. And considering all that they had gone through. Squall thought he should feel uncomfortable meeting him. But honestly…he felt relieved.

It was making him confused and he didn’t want to dwell on it now. Fortunately, Laguna was eager to see him when he got back. His company helped Squall concentrate on other things.

* * *

Squall had used his connections as the president’s son to find out where Seifer lived. He wasn’t proud of doing it. And he was surprised that he did it. It wasn’t like him to spy on people. But he was curious. For reasons, he didn’t want to admit to himself.

Squall hadn’t decided what he would do with the information. The most ethical thing would have been not to dig up the information in the first place. But now that it was done…he couldn’t just leave the matter alone.

Before he knew it, he was on his way to the address. It was in a kind of a poor area. Not the worst he'd seen, but still…

Finally, he was standing outside of Seifer’s apartment. He didn’t want to overthink it and just knocked on the door. He heard footsteps coming to the door. When Seifer opened the door, he had a look of shock on his face. It morphed quickly into that smug smile though.

“Squall, you must really miss me. It hasn’t even been a day and you’re already running after me.”

“I didn’t run. I…just…wanted to see you were doing ok.”

Seifer’s whole countenance changed.

“Are you patronizing me?” He said.

“No…we grew up together. And you were part of the orphanage gang. We…look after each other.” Squall explained. Seifer looked skeptical. Squall was winging it and Seifer probably noticed it. He wasn’t at all sure why he was here.

“Well…Whatever. Since you’re here…Come in.” Seifer said and stepped to the side so that Squall could come in. It was a cozy little apartment. Two rooms and a kitchen. There was a couch in the living room and the tv was on.

Seifer came past him and sat on the couch. Squall followed him. There was a cooking show on the tv. They watched it for a while in silence. But Squall couldn’t really concentrate on it. He had that same surreal feeling as he had had the day before.

“Hyne, that looks good.” Seifer said so suddenly Squall jolted a little.

Squall tried to concentrate on the program. Seifer was right, it did look delicious. Whatever it was.

“….Yeah.” Squall said quietly.

“Wow. You sound so excited.” Seifer said.

“I’m sorry. I’m a bit distracted.”

“Hnh. Are you having conversations with yourself again?”

“No.”

“Really. That’s what it always feels like talking to you. Like you’re having conversations in your head. And you forget to tell people around you what you’re thinking.”

Seifer was right, that was what usually happened. But this time he was just frozen and couldn’t think straight. Had they ever been this…domestic together before?

Probably not. Growing up, Squall had mostly kept to himself. Seifer, on the other hand, had usually been causing trouble everywhere he went. And their paths had crossed whenever Seifer had decided that he wanted Squall’s attention. Why had he wanted Squall’s attention?

“Seifer?”

“Yeah?”

“When we were kids…why were you trying to get my attention?”

“…Is that what I did? ... I don’t know.” Seifer looked confused. But he also seemed to be giving it a thought.

“Probably ‘cause it was fun to get a reaction out of you. You were always so serious…I guess I was an asshole.” Squall was almost impressed. Maybe something had changed for the better in Seifer.

They watched the tv in silence again. But Squall felt like some line had been crossed and he felt safe to ask questions. And he was curious about Seifer’s life.

“Do you have a job?”

Seifer looked at him like he’d lost his mind. But he answered anyway.

“Yeah. I do whatever jobs I can find. Mostly security stuff. Being a guard or a bouncer or whatever.”

Squall could easily imagine him doing that kind of work. Well, except for…

“I didn’t think you could take orders from anyone?”

Seifer laughed at that. “I don’t always. But if I want to eat, I have to.”

Squall felt sad hearing him say that. It felt weird. It was good that he had learned some restraint, but… It kind of sounded like his spirit had been broken.

“Why are you so interested in me?... Wait, don’t tell me. You’re bored without me. Right?” Seifer said.

Squall didn’t know how to answer and looked at Seifer silently.

“You have to be. I mean, who else is there to challenge you? ...I’m sure that chicken-wuss can be entertaining but c’mon… You don’t respect him.”

“Don’t go there. He’s my friend.” Squall said with a pleading tone.

“…Fine.” Seifer gave in and Squall felt relieved. They went back to watching the tv in silence.

They didn’t hang out much longer. Seifer had to go to work. And Squall went back to the Palace. It had been an interesting day. And surprising. Squall realized he wanted to find time to meet Seifer again. He must have missed him. For some reason. It was a bit worrying.


	3. Getting into trouble

Squall went to Seifer’s place the next day. And once again Seifer didn’t seem to mind the company. They watched tv together like the day before. It was nice for a change. Just relaxing. Not thinking too hard about anything.

It didn’t last long though. Seifer seemed to be restless.

“Now that I have you hanging around me. How about we have a match?” Seifer said.

Squall wasn’t sure how he felt about that. It might be nice to fight someone on his level for once… And with gunblades. But somebody tended to get hurt when they fought.

“C’mon Squall. You know you want to.” Seifer continued.

“…Maybe.”

“When was the last time you had a good opponent?”

“I haven’t had time for that…Where would we even do it?”

“We’ll go outside of the city…Lots of space there and no one to stop us.”

“I don’t have my gunblade with me.”

“Are you serious? Why don’t you have it with you at all times?”

“I didn’t think I’d need it on my holiday.” Besides, Squall had been working in an office for a while now. He had forgotten he even owned a gunblade. But he was not going to admit that to Seifer.

“Hyne, you’re boring.”

“Why? For having something else in my life besides fighting.” Squall knew he sounded defensive. He did want to fight Seifer. It would help let off some steam. And it would be good to have the practice and exercise. But… It felt so silly to do that again. Having a match with your rival. Like they were still teenagers.

“Fine… But I have to do something before I go crazy… I’m going out.” Seifer stood up and grabbed his coat.

“Well?... Are you coming?” Seifer said impatiently.

Squall wasn’t sure it was a good idea to spend so much time with the man. But once again he felt curious and followed Seifer.

“Where are we going?” Squall asked when they were outside.

“I don’t know… Let’s see what we can find.”

It occurred to Squall that following Seifer blindly might be dangerous. The man was unpredictable, and he used to go around causing trouble. Then again, he might have changed. Squall hoped he had changed… And that they didn’t end up in trouble.

It was a beautiful day outside. Sunny with a light wind. The effect was ruined little by being in the middle of a huge city. Squall decided that he needed to travel more before going back to the Garden. He wanted to spend some time in nature as well.

They ended up wandering through a shopping mall. Now that there was no tv to get his attention Squall could focus on Seifer. Soon he started to regret it. His thoughts went to things that he had avoided for a long while. His thoughts kept revolving around how attractive he found the man. It wasn’t completely unexpected. He had always had an attraction to the man. At least physically. But it had usually been dampened by his personality and Squall being mostly annoyed by him.

The time he had spent with Seifer was making him question everything. It was making him see the man in different light…

Squall felt like he had let this gone too far. It was making him anxious. He felt like he had to get out of the situation to think things through. Squall was thinking of going his own way when Seifer suddenly stopped.

He was observing something. There was a group of men talking and Squall didn’t know what was so interesting about it. But it clearly got Seifer’s attention as he was watching them intently.

“What is it? Do you know them?” Squall asked.

Seifer didn’t answer and started to walk towards the men. Squall immediately had a bad feeling.

“Uhh Seifer…Wait a minute.” Squall tried to call out but Seifer didn’t seem to hear. Or didn’t care.

As soon as Seifer reached the men, he punched one of them in the face. The man recovered fast and started to fight back. The others were momentarily shocked but soon started to cheer on the fight.

Squall wasn’t sure what to do, but he felt that he couldn’t abandon Seifer.

The man Seifer had attacked didn’t seem to be faring very well. His friends noticed it too and were about to attack Seifer. Squall was not used to fistfights, but he felt that he had to do something. So, he joined the fight.

Fortunately, the fight didn’t last long. Guards arrived to break it up. They also promptly arrested everyone. They probably wanted to get the situation out of the busy mall.

After the fight Squall didn’t have a chance to talk to Seifer. They were kept separate and someone had recognized Squall, and he was quickly let go. Apparently, he was not in any trouble over the incident. An advantage of being the son of the president.

It seemed best to go back to the palace. There wasn’t anything he could do now about Seifer. Also, he got bruises in the fight and he started to feel them now that the adrenaline had gone down.

Squall avoided seeing Laguna that day. He didn’t want to face the man. Besides he had a black eye. He didn’t want to explain where he got it. He knew he couldn’t avoid the man for long though. And he would have to explain at some point. But he didn’t want to do it yet.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squall meets Seifer one more time before leaving Esthar.

Squall was not going to meet Seifer again. He was determined. Clearly the man was a bad influence. But… on the other hand, he did want an explanation for the fight.

He tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter and that he should forget about it. He tried to keep in mind why being in the man's company was a bad idea. And for a while, he kept firm… And then he started doubting that decision.

Finally, he realized he had to know. He would just be thinking about it anyway.

He hoped Seifer would be home. He didn’t want to delay this any more than he had to.

Fortunately, Seifer was home. He opened the door and when he saw Squall he left the door open and turned to walk away.

“Seifer. Wait. I want to talk to you.”

Seifer turned to face him. Squall couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“I…don’t like to get into fights for no reason. So…what was that fight about?”

“You didn’t have to get involved. So, don’t blame me for ending up in a fight.”

“You started that fight and I couldn’t just leave you to fight alone. So yes, I will put the blame on you.”

“Squall…You’re the one that started to follow me around. I mean, why are you here? Why were you here then? Why are you following me?”

Squall didn’t have an answer to that. Or, he didn’t have an answer he wanted to give to Seifer.

“Fine. I don’t care whose fault it was. And I can go away. But…Just tell me.”

“…I don’t want to get into details. Because it’s none of your business. But the guy I punched. He's just some asshole I’ve seen abusing people.”

“And you decided that the best way to deal with him was to start a fight?”

“That’s what you do with people like that. The only thing they understand is violence.”

Squall didn’t agree with that answer and he suspected there was more to this. But he didn’t want to try and get more out of Seifer now. He didn’t seem like he wanted to co-operate.

“Are you in any trouble over it? I could help you if you need it.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Shouldn’t you be at work now?”

“No…I don’t have anything right now.” As he said that Seifer looked at everything but Squall. It felt out of character for the man.

Did Seifer have a bad reputation now? Squall had an idea about how to help him. And he knew he was going to regret suggesting it.

“I could help you with that…I might have something for you to do in the Garden.”

“No thanks. I’m done with the Garden.” And that seemed to be that. Seifer walked to his couch and ignored Squall's presence.

Squall took a moment to ponder what he should do next. It was probably better that Seifer refused his offer. But…Squall was a bit disappointed.

“Seifer.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to be leaving soon… I just wanted you to know that.”

“…Ok.” Seifer finally turned to look at him. “Well. Are you going to sit down or what? Or are you in a hurry?”

Seifer looked almost hopeful? Was he lonely? Squall wanted to spend some more time with him when he still could. So, he sat down next to Seifer.

“Next time could you give me a warning before you start a fight.” Squall asked Seifer.

“If I remember… Next time?”

“This sort of thing is bound to happen near you again.”

“I thought you were leaving soon?”

“I am…But, we might run into each other again.”

Seifer gave him a long look with narrowed eyes. “Yeah. Maybe.”

Squall hoped Seifer didn’t read too much into the conversation. Squall himself tried not to read too much into it. He needed to change the subject.

It turned out he didn’t have to. Seifer did it for him.

“So. What did your old man say about you getting to a fight?”

“He was worried. I didn’t really talk to him about it.”

Laguna had been very worried. He tried to question Squall for a long time. When Squall refused to tell him anything, he started lecturing him. He warned Squall about getting mixed up with the wrong people, and so on.

He sat with Seifer for a while. They actually manage to have a pretty good time. They even joked about something. Seifer teased him for it. It wasn’t like Squall to joke around. He was a little surprised himself. He felt like he could let himself go. A little, at least. He still had some of his guards up.

Since Squall was leaving Esthar soon, he was relieved that they parted ways on friendly terms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seifer surprises Squall.

A few weeks after his vacation, Squall was working late in his office when Seifer walked in as if he owned the place.

“Seifer… How did you get in here?”

“I just walked in. You should have better security.”

“Apparently. And _why_ are you here?”

He sat down and lifted his legs on Squalls table.

“I came to visit you. It was my turn, right?”

“I wasn’t expecting you…but alright. Not everyone is going to be happy to see you though.”

“Fine by me. I came here to see you.”

Squall tried to ignore the warm feeling he got from hearing that.

“They might want to kick you out or worse.”

“They can try.” Seifer said and looked Squall with a smile on his face. Squall felt self-conscious and had to look away. Seifer did not seem to be deterred by that.

“How about you show me around?”

Squall was confused. “You already know the place. Why would I show you around?”

“You must have changed things around here? Or for old times’ sake.”

Squall was already nervous about Seifer being in his office. If they walked around the Garden, they would get a lot of attention. And it was not the good kind.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Like I said, people might not be happy to see you.”

“And like I said, I don’t care.”

Well…He was already here. So, Squall might as well show him around.

“Fine. If you want to. Let’s go then.”

It wasn’t too bad. Most of the people didn’t either recognize the man or didn’t care. There were some that stared at them, but no one dared to say anything.

It was Seifer himself that bothered Squall. There was something different about him today. Squall wasn’t sure in what way…but something was different. Seifer talked to him a lot more than usual. Lots of eye contact and other things Squall couldn't really describe.

They went to the training center last. There were a lot of people around. Kids practicing fighting mostly. It was…not impressive.

“Not much quality in your students.”

“They’re beginners.” Squall felt defensive of the kids.

“I was better than this when I started. You were too.”

“Not everyone is a fighter.”

“I could make anyone into a warrior.”

“…I doubt that.”

“Fine. I’ll prove it. You said you might have a job for me. So, put me in charge of training them.”

“No, definitely not.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want them to have emotional scars for the rest of their lives, for one.”

Seifer laughed at that. “Yeah. That might happen…. and I would probably hate living in here anyway.”

“You got your tour. As you can see, nothing much has changed.”

Seifer seemed to consider something for a moment. Then he looked at Squall with a smirk on his face.

“I haven’t seen your quarters yet. I want to see what they gave you with a promotion.”

“Fine. But it’s nothing glamorous or special.”

They didn’t talk while walking there which gave Squall time to think. He wasn’t used to entertaining guests. Rinoa loved doing that, so Squall never had to learn. How long was Seifer going to stay? Did he need a place to spend the night? Should he offer him food or at least something to drink?

When they arrived Squall quickly showed Seifer around his little apartment.

“And that’s about it…Are you going to spend the night? I can look for a free room for you?”

Seifer glanced at Squall's bed. He then turned to Squall, smiling.

“Well…I think your bed looks big enough for two. How about I sleep in it tonight?”

Squall’s brain did a complete stop at that.

“I…With me?”

“No, I’m kicking you out of your bed…Of course I mean with you.”

Squall didn’t know what to say to that. Seifer sighed and continued.

“Look, I sometimes get this vibe from you. Like you’re into me, but if that’s not the case then I can just leave. And you don’t ever have to see me again.”

“I don’t want you to leave. I’m just surprised and…” Squall’s thoughts were a mess. What vibe? Seifer wants me? Does he now I’m trans?...

Seifer surprised Squall again by saving him from answering. “Do you want to just hang out this evening?”

“Sure. Yeah. Let’s do that.” Squall felt relieved. He didn’t really know what he wanted and couldn’t make any decisions right now. He needed to sort through his thoughts in peace first.


	6. Chapter 6

The day after Seifer arrived unannounced Squall was taking him outside of the Garden. Quistis and Xu had heard about Seifer’s presence and they weren’t happy about it. Apparently, some students had been upset. Squall had refused to tell them anything, but had agreed to take him somewhere else.

They decided to go to Fisherman’s Horizon. It wasn’t the most appealing place, but they were probably left alone there.

Squall took Seifer to a restaurant in the town. It gave him a chance to talk to Seifer about… A lot of things. First though, he wanted to make sure Seifer knew about his gender…situation. Squall wanted to have that talk in a public space, just to be sure.

“Seifer, I wanted to ask you about something.”

“Ok.”

“Did you…Do you know that I’m trans?” Squall’s hands were sweating, and he could feel his heart racing. He had no idea what to do if Seifer said no or reacted badly.

“No, I didn’t.” He didn’t look upset and Squall felt optimistic.

But he had to make sure. “Does it bother you?”

Seifer didn’t answer right away and Squall started to feel lightheaded.

“Not really. It doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”

Squall was so relieved that he uncharacteristically let out a short laugh. “That’s good to hear.”

“You thought I would be upset?”

“No. I wasn’t sure how you would react…. It’s always hard to tell someone about it. And I haven’t done it many times. There aren’t many people who know that about me.”

“Hm. Yeah, I’m not surprised, you don’t really talk to people.”

Squall felt like he could breathe again and relax. They continued their meal and for the first time actually talked. Mostly about their past. Squall started to feel a real connection forming.

* * *

“So, where to now? Home?” Seifer asked.

That’s what they should do, head home. But… Squall had made a decision.

He was feeling spontaneous due to everything going so well. Apparently, that was all that was needed for Squall to trust Seifer. And that, in turn, made him want Seifer. Badly. Squall had been getting more and more restless. He was at a point where he couldn’t sit still and didn’t know how to get comfortable.

“Um. Actually, I was thinking about renting a room in the hotel. Together, maybe.” Squall felt his hands go sweaty again, but for a very different reason than before.

Seifer had a smug look on his face. “Sure. But I want to make sure that we are on the same page here…”

Squall didn’t let him finish. He took hold of Seifer’s coat lapels and pulled his head down enough that he could smash their lips together. Seifer responded to the kiss fast. It wasn’t skillful but it felt so good that it didn’t matter. They were also getting more and more handsy with each other. Squall’s hand was almost at Seifer’s belt when he finally remembered where they were and ended the kiss.

Neither of them said a word to each other on their way to the hotel. Squall didn’t remember the last time he was this turned on. It might be never, actually. Being with Rinoa had been nice, but he’d never felt this taken over.

They got a room and tried to play it cool while getting there, probably not succeeding very well. The moment the door to the room closed behind them, they were pulling their clothes off.

They got on the bed and Seifer started to open Squall pants.

“Wait, Seifer. I’ve got…” Squall didn’t have time to finish the sentence. Seifer pulled out Squall’s packer from his pants. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to be bothered by it and just threw it aside. His complete nonchalance about Squall being trans was making Squall even more turned on, and even a bit emotional.

But, Squall was also realizing who and what he was dealing with. Seifer was a big man, and definitely bigger than him, and also unpredictable. Squall was both turned on and scared. If Seifer decided to be forceful there wasn’t much Squall could do. This wasn’t a gunblade fight.

On the other hand, Seifer was doing such wonderful things to him, that Squall didn’t want him to stop for any reason. He was fingering Squall and simultaneously kissing his neck. Squall’s thoughts were forgotten and he could concentrate on the moment at hand.

Seifer stopped suddenly and Squall almost started to complain, but Seifer looked him in the eyes.

“What do you want Squall?”

Squall wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t feel ready for penetration but feared that it was expected of him.

“Remember to use words Squall or I can’t do what you want.”

Seifer was such an asshole, but it wasn’t enough to turn Squall off. It also gave Squall the idea of what to ask.

“Your mouth.”

It was enough said since Seifer quickly moved between Squall's legs. It had been a while, but Squall remembered enough to know that it had never been like this before. Rinoa had never been so…dominating, aggressive.

Squall had never been this turned on and it didn’t take long for him to reach his climax. It felt heavenly. He felt boneless and didn’t want to move for a moment.

Seifer had gone to wash his mouth and hands. He came back looking smug.

“Looks like it was good for you?”

Squall didn’t feel like answering. He just wanted to enjoy the moment.

“So…Are you going to return the favor?” Seifer asked after a while.

Squall felt nervous as this was the first time doing this with a man. But, he definitely wanted to ‘return the favor’. Squall stared at the cock in front of him. He wasn’t sure how to start. Finally, he just went for it. With Seifer's instructions, he started to get the hang of it and by the sound of it, he was doing a great job. Squall felt like he could start to enjoy doing this.

“At least there’s something your mouth is good at Squall.”

“Thanks for ruining the mood.” It wasn’t completely ruined, Squall was still feeling the high from sex and being good at something. But Seifer didn’t need to know that.

Afterward, they were laying in bed. Squall felt so relieved and relaxed he drifted off to sleep.


End file.
